There can be no other title for this story, because they are the perpetrators.  I could use some expletives.  You can guess what they are, but I decided to keep it clean.

I was afraid to write this until I was SURE my Sears Home Warranty Contract was actually canceled.  I don’t trust this formerly most trust-worthy company any more.  I’ve been watching my checking account, and at last I don’t see that monthly automatic charge, which they insisted on when they repaired my refrigerator, so I think I’m safe.

If you are a certain age, you remember Sears in the old days – maybe even Sears & Roebuck.

My siblings and I waited anxiously for the catalog that came out just before Christmas.  I feel a thrill just thinking about it.  

I would thumb through it for hours, picking out all the toys I knew I would not get, but always hoped for a Christmas miracle, just as I hoped for snow on Christmas Eve in southern California.

It was the Amazon of its day.  I once bought my dad a hunting rifle for Christmas. (Don’t get excited. He only hunted rabbits and quail, and we ate them.) I ordered it through the catalog store in downtown Ontario and picked it up there once it came in.

It’s true that the items came to a catalog store, and not to the front porch, as Mr. Bezos provides. 

I don’t remember having to wait a very long time, but my memory is not what it was, which is only slightly worse now than it was then, as I recall.  

And isn’t memory a funny thing?  Whenever I write about a story about our growing up, my siblings have a slightly different take on it.  I’ve learned that that’s what memory is like.

My friend, Barbara, with whom I traveled across the US and Europe, doesn’t remember some of the places that I do, and I don’t remember  some of the places or experiences she does. (I should point out that I remember more than she does, however.) 

We spent several days in a tiny town in Germany called Kriftel because an old high school friend of hers lived there with a family and worked as a plumber in the family business.  Plus, the store owner across the street from the family was an ex-SS officer! He looked so normal.

My most vivid memory of that time is that we got first crack at the warm bath water.  The family of six followed us.

Barbara has no recall of that, which I find astonishing because of the things we did there and saw there.  

But I digress.

Back to Sears.

I had this warranty with them, which I got when we had our fridge repaired last spring.  The warranty was supposed to be many things, none of which it was, or none of which was it?

I suppose the warranty saved us money on the initial repair of the fridge, but that was IT.  Whenever I called again, I spoke to at least four foreigners, who could not speak English.  They would transfer me from one non-English speaker to another non-English speaker.

When the washing machine was spouting water, I tried to set up an appointment on their phone app, which they had recommended.  I went through all the steps but never got a response.  The point they emphasized the most was that I had to pre-pay for the visit; $75.  I would have willingly paid, but again, they never responded.

At last when I finally got through by telephone, they sent someone to look at my washing machine, but he could not fix it.  I still had to pay $75 for the visit before he came.  They always guarantee that THEY get their money but NOT that I get service.  That’s their most important guarantee.

I called them to check all my appliances, which I understood to be part of the deal, but it turns out they only contracted to look at my air conditioning and air vents.  If they do need to do something, it’s an extra charge, of course.  Cleaning our vents was their primary hope. I didn’t read the small print as carefully as I should have.

It’s not just Sears.  When our WIFI and internet went out a few weeks ago, causing us lots of pain and duress, AT&T eventually decided  to send us a new modem.

I could hear the service guy on the phone faking that he was trying to fix it distantly.  Funny noises in the background.  I think he had some noisemakers, but I’m pretty sure he had no way of fixing it distantly.

Oh, and by the way, he told me we should receive the modem in two days, and he would call me that very day to help me install it.  Guess what?

In the meantime, I got a letter from AT&T, asking me to return the old modem before I even received the new one.  

Subsequently, I received a two emails and two letters by snail mail also asking me to return the old equipment.  I was truly amazed at how efficient they were when the stakes were in their court.

Every one of us has a story like this.  I never thought I would be that old person who would say how she wished for the old days, but as to the question of my appliances and phone equipment, I am that old person.

The old days were not that long ago.  Maybe it was five years ago when you could expect good service from Sears.  (Never from AT&T)

At least we have Amazon.  I’m pretty mad that they don’t pay taxes – there must be a good reason for this that I don’t know about – but man oh man are they efficient.  Also, I wish Mr. Bezos would spend some of that outer-space money on finding ways to get water to drought-ravaged cities, states and countries worldwide.  Maybe to feed people, too.  To be fair, maybe that is his goal, and these space trips are giving him some ideas.

I have filed for divorce from Sears, and it makes me sad.  They say you go on loving someone or missing them even though you can’t stay together.  

Goodbye Sears. L  I’ll never forget you, but don’t call me.

The End